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標題: 能幫我看看文法有沒有錯嗎?_? [列印本頁]
作者: 幻滅...    時間: 07-1-14 14:14
標題: 能幫我看看文法有沒有錯嗎?_?
Last Sunday , Tom invited his friend Peter and John to play the video games in his home , when they got there , Tom's mother gave them some dessert and juice to eat . After that , Tom played the vedio games with his friend . What a wonderful Sunday!



能幫我看看這邊文章有什麼文法的錯誤或怪怪的地方嗎??

[ 本文最後由 幻滅... 於 07-1-14 02:26 PM 編輯 ]
作者: Katliang    時間: 07-1-15 02:27
原文由幻滅... 於 07-1-13 10:14 PM 發表
Last Sunday , Tom invited his friend Peter and John to play the video games in his home , when they got there , Tom's mother gave them some dessert and juice to eat . After that , Tom played the vedio games with his friend . What a wonderful Sunday!
能幫我看看這邊文章有什麼文法的錯誤或怪怪的地方嗎??

我只能說:錯好多阿
Last Sunday Tom invited his friends, Peter and John, to play video games at his house. When they got there, Tom's mom gave them some dessert and juice to eat and drink.  After that, Tom played video games with his friends.  What a wonderful Sunday！

Some of these words are redundent, so you might want to change some of the vocabulary
for example: instead of saying friends again, you can say pals.  
                 and you already mentioned video games before, therefore you can just say games
Watch out for grammer mistakes and you can't eat juice, so you have to say drink in the end.
作者: saharet    時間: 07-1-15 15:06
原文由Katliang 於 07-1-14 10:27 AM 發表

我只能說:錯好多阿
Last Sunday Tom invited his friends, Peter and John, to play video games at his house. When they got there, Tom's mom gave them some dessert and juice to eat and drink.  After that, ...


要麻煩Katliang一件事,看了很多篇文章,你都是以英文來做講解
聊天文就算了,當作練習英文,不過在這類需要詳細講解原因的
還是請打中文,不然問問題的人已經對自己的問題夠頭大了,還要花費精神來了解你講的東西
既然是說明跟建議,就以對方最熟悉的語言來跟他溝通
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幻滅
文章主要概念沒有錯很多
改的地方:
1. 要習慣複數的概念,像你提到兩個朋友Peter and John, 這時候friend一定要+S

2. 還有一個句子該停的時候就要停,第一句在his home那邊就該停了

3. 在給予一個名詞代表的東西的時候, 像這裡, Tom's friends = Peter and John,
在這裡friends代表Peter and John,
這樣子在friends跟peter and john之後都要逗點:
his friends, peter and john, 繼續句子...

4. 最後一個字連標點符號不要空格 例:After that , 應該是 After that,

5. 這文章的主題不是關於video games,你也沒著名是哪些,所以不用在前面+the

流暢度:
要看作文有沒有怪怪的,唸一次,覺得不順的話通常那些地方都是有些許錯誤或是不合邏輯,不然就是太多重複單字
katliang有提到單字過多重複
重新看一次簡單文法改好之後:
Last Sunday, Tom invited his friends, Peter and John, to play video games in his home. When they got there, Tom's mother gave them some dessert and juice to eat. After that, Tom played video games with his friends. What a wonderful Sunday!

1. Peter and John在Tom家 共做了"吃東西"以及"玩電動"這兩樣,可以總合為一個"玩"字
這樣可以避免重複play video games,把第一句變成:
Last Sunday, Tom invited his friends Peter and John to play in his home.
(我自己是喜歡用his house 不過沒什麼差)

2. they的邏輯,在你第二句的when they got here, 這個they把Tom也加進去了
不過同時,之後Tom's mother gave them some.... 這裡"them"應該是三個人(tom, peter, john)都有吃到
所以這次不改,以Tom是跟peter and john一起進家裡來講
雖然講的有點抽象,不過就是介紹給你一下這個觀念

3. dessert and juice to eat. 在這邊你eat只配合dessert,並沒有另一個動詞來配合juice
katliang有提到,把他改成
When they got there, Tom's mother gave them some dessert and juice to eat and drink.
也可以把to eat去掉,變成
When they got there, Tom's mother gave them some dessert and juice.
還有一個方法,就是把juice去掉,因為說真的沒什麼必要知道= =, 這時候+to eat看起來也不錯
When they got there, Tom's mother gave them some dessert to eat.

大概就是這樣,所以整篇變成:
Last Sunday Tom invited his friends Peter and John, to play at his house. When they got there, Tom's mother gave them some dessert to eat.  After that, Tom played video games with his friends.  What a wonderful Sunday！

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
你的文章已經大概有個架構了
不過文法仍須加強
邏輯以及重複字問題還不太需要管他
目前文法最重要

等你文法架構有個完整的概念的時候
在開始下一步,那就是提升流暢度
在這裡面包含了文章的邏輯以及美化文章
美化文章主要是使用一些不同字但是同意的單字來防止過多重複的單字
同時也開始加入連接詞,形容詞等等
要加強美化文章的能力就是一直吸收新的單字,
美化文章這能力是無止境的,所以版大能吸收多少單字,就能用多少
我單字知道的不多,大概程度也只在中階段而已

差不多就是這樣,廢話很多,不過加油吧

[ 本文最後由 saharet 於 07-1-14 11:20 PM 編輯 ]
作者: 幻滅...    時間: 07-1-15 19:29
Last Sunday , Tom invited his friends Peter and John, to play the video games in his home . When they got there , Tom's mother gave them some dessert and juice to eat and drink . After that, Tom played the vedio games with his friends . What a wonderful Sunday!


抱歉- -   黃色部份是在我打上電腦時的筆誤
            紫色的部分我已經有點忘記考試時所寫的樣子了 , 紫色部份沒錯的話還會算是錯很多嗎?
此篇是我考英檢初級時的文章  故事內容: 上週日Tom想邀請他的朋友到他家玩電視遊樂器→他的朋友Peter&John到達他家→Tom的母親拿出點心及果汁給他們享用→之後他們便一起玩電視遊樂器

請問這樣會錯相當多嗎~"~  相當怕不合格 分成五級分的話大概會得到多少級分?

[ 本文最後由 幻滅... 於 07-1-15 09:06 PM 編輯 ]
作者: saharet    時間: 07-1-16 11:40
抱歉抱歉,我打最後面peter and john前面忘記+逗點

Last Sunday , Tom invited his friends,<- Peter and John, to play the video games in his home . When they got there , Tom's mother gave them some dessert and juice to eat and drink . After that, Tom played the vedio games with his friends . What a wonderful Sunday!

我是覺得架構到了啦...
不過我沒考過英檢所以不清楚標準在哪
所以這沒辦法幫你
作者: Katliang    時間: 07-1-17 04:57
原文由saharet 於 07-1-14 11:06 PM 發表


要麻煩Katliang一件事,看了很多篇文章,你都是以英文來做講解
聊天文就算了,當作練習英文,不過在這類需要詳細講解原因的
還是請打中文,不然問問題的人已經對自己的問題夠頭大了,還要花費精神來了解你講的東西
既然 ...

如果自下沒記錯的話我已經過了
第一 在下從二年級畢業後就來到加拿大了~中文概念不如英文
第二 以英文解釋自有他的優點~讓別人可以多面對新的文章
第三 video game 妳頩錯了
作者: Katliang    時間: 07-1-17 05:07
原文由幻滅... 於 07-1-15 03:29 AM 發表
Last Sunday , Tom invited his friends Peter and John, to play the video games in his home . When they got there , Tom's mother gave them some dessert and juice to eat and drink . After that, Tom played the vedio games with his friends . What a wonderful Sunday!


抱歉- -   黃色部份是在我打上電腦時的筆誤
            紫色的部分我已經有點忘記考試時所寫的樣子了 , 紫色部份沒錯的話還會算是錯很多嗎?
此篇是我考英檢初級時的文章  故事內容: 上週日Tom想邀請他的朋友到他家玩電視遊樂器→他的朋友Peter&John到達他家→Tom的母親拿出點心及果汁給他們享用→之後他們便一起玩電視遊樂器

請問這樣會錯相當多嗎~"~  相當怕不合格 分成五級分的話大概會得到多少級分?

Last Sunday, Tom invited his friends, Peter and John, to play video games at his house.  At Tom's residence, Tom's mother treated Tom and his guests with dessert and juice.  After they have finished their treat, Tom and his pals played video games.  
如果這是翻譯的話~在下應該會這樣翻 如果紫色的部份你打對的話那應該得4 但我用的是六級分
要拿到六的條件: 1. 文要對題~/2      你所得的:   2/2
                    2. 文法要對~/1.5                   1/1.5
                    3. 單字要很廣~/1.5                .5/1.5   
                    4. 文章要順~/1                      1/1
作者: Miley-Mini    時間: 07-1-24 13:03
五級分...?!  聽起來好像是在考AP..advanced placement  exam..(痛..> <)

建議你當一個句子結束後,就句點換下一句,

不同的subject要再另一個句子裡呈現~

久了就會變簡單囉~

感覺你很認真,要加油喔!^^
作者: 幻滅...    時間: 07-2-2 19:58
5   正確表達題目之要球；文法、用字等幾乎無誤。
4   大致正確表達題目之要求；文法、用字等有誤，但不影響讀者之理解。
3　大致回答題目之要求，單位能完全達意；文法、用字等有誤，稍影響讀者之理解。
2　部分回答題目之要求，表達上有令人不解/誤解之處；文法、用字等皆有誤，讀者須耐心解讀。
1   僅回答１個問題或重點；文法、用字等錯誤過多，嚴重影響讀者之理解。
0   未答、等同未答。


以上是英檢寫作扣分的方式　以這種方式大概是幾級分~"~

http://www.lttc.ntu.edu.tw/geptscoreremark/%E5%88%9D%E7%B4%9A%E4%BD%9C%E6%96%87.pdf
這是扣分範例~"~

[ 本文最後由 幻滅... 於 07-2-2 08:31 PM 編輯 ]



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